I'm on the five year plan

For those of you who don't know me very well, my life is a little different. I graduated from college last May and then things got interesting. If you do know me, skip the next paragraph and get right to the conflict.

I moved into my truck, spent some alone time in Canada where I faced a bear, learned to talk dirty in French in New Brunswick, lived with a band in Boston, spent a week hob nobbing in Cape Cod, learned to sail on the Chesapeake bay, caught some sharks in Florida, went to Europe for 2 months, moved back into my truck, headed West, worked at a Wilderness Therapy program where I tracked troubled youths through the desert, and now I live in Utah among the Mormons.

I am skiing every week, learning to sew, writing everyday, and studying martial arts 16 hours a week. Now here's the conflict. I began to feel guilty about my lifestyle when I spoke with my friends who got full time jobs out of college and my family members who have been working hard their whole lives. Am I just wasting time? Shouldn't I be working?

As I was having those thoughts I realized I didn't need a job, I just needed to redefine the problem. Society tells me that things like learning to cook potato pancakes and spending a winter skiing are only ok if a person is making more money then they need and saving for their future.

And so I felt bad, I felt like it might be a mistake to focus all my attention on ridiculous topics; pursuits that might not make me any money. That's when I realized I had just spent four years focusing all my attention on ridiculous topics that certainly won't make me any money; its called college.

But society doesn't have a problem with millions of people wasting years of their lives and tens of thousands of dollars on College. Its actually encouraged! So now I simply equate everything I'm doing with Education and call the whole thing my fifth year in school. Most people take five years now anyway.

Under my new system two months drinking my way across Europe becomes study abroad. From what my Sister tells me thats pretty much what it is anyway. Learning to sew becomes Entrepreneurship. Anybody want some pockets? Martial Arts becomes physical education. Get the picture?

The beauty of the five year plan is that it costs just a fraction of what college does and you actually learn more. When I got to my wilderness therapy program job I couldn't use a can opener. Turns out they only work in the right hand. The point is, I'm learning more now than I did in college at a fraction of the cost and I don't have to take any classes I don't want to.

Not everyone can afford a fifth year, some people have to work. I understand that. I also understand that someday I'm going to get someone pregnant and I'll have to start working. But for now I'm not going to feel guilty about focusing on dreams instead of the reality of society.

Now if I could just drop Anthropology of Mormonism and get a beer I would feel like I was back in College again.