Business

The worse the economy gets, the more people who are employed to do the work of poles. Not Poles, like people from Poland, but poles, like the things you hang signs from. Although I guess some Poles probably work as poles. When the economy gets real bad, companies like Little Caesars, Liberty Tax, and car washes, find that it is cheaper to pay someone to hold a sign than to buy a pole.

Have you noticed how movie trailers keep getting better and better but movies keep getting worse? Someone in Hollywood made the brilliant decision to stop paying for quality movies and start paying for amazing trailers. Why shouldn't they? Suckers like me see the sweet trailer for The Eagle, Ultra Violet, or Hanna, and go pay for a movie whose plot was put together by a kid who likes to sniff paint.

I think gold pan companies should market their product as a useful alternative to cereal bowls. That way, you don't have to bring a cereal bowl into the Yukon and if you can't find gold, you can use your gold pan to sift away the cereal to reveal the prize in the box.

Have you ever seen sunglasses that claim to be 100% effective at blocking UV light? I've got news for you. All glass is 100% effective at blocking UV light.

People always see something really old that has passed the test of time and say "they just don't make things like that used to." This is a fallacy. All the old stuff that was made like crap has already fallen apart and been tossed in the garbage. Just because one thing here and there hasn't broken doesn't mean lots of other stuff hasn't.

My Starbucks cup claimed to save 100,000 trees a year because it was made of 10% recycled cardboard. This tells me that the cup also killed 900,000 trees because it is made from 90% unrecycled cardboard

All airplanes should board first class first (they paid more, they die first in a crash) and then start boarding at the back (not the front like most airplanes). If you don't see why these are great ideas I don't want to date you or work for you (they are basically the same things anyway)

All tourist destinations will tell you whatever you are experiancing on your trip is absolutly amazing and never happens. If it rains they will say "oooo, we never get rain, you are so lucky." If it is sunny they will say "oooo, it has been raining for weeks, you are so lucky." Likewize with all drink specials, animal sightings, and tour guide ratings of group quality (this is the best group!)

There are lots sites that tell me where I can meet single hot females, but I don't think there are many sites for single hot females to post themselves so less attractive desperate single men can find them. That doesn't add up.

Of course drivers who switched to you saved money, nobody switches insurance and pays more. I'm pretty sure that everyone who switched their insurance saved an average of 300$ or 15%. The people who left your patronizing company included

Progressive and lots of other companies tell you you get to name your own price. Actually you name a price and they tell you what you can get for that much, which is inefficient, so you just tell them what you want and then they tell you the price. Under their logic we all name our own prices for everything we buy