All the News thats Possible

Area Boy Ruins it for the Entire Class

Crazy Bastard Actually Pulled it Off

Artwork Speaks to Schizophrenic

Poll Reveals Mens and Womens Concept of 'Sleeping Your Way to the Top' Vary Greatly

Illegal Immigrants Deported from Everywhere Except President's Favorite Taco Place

Study finds keys

Congressional Leaders Clash over Pizza- Republicans Call Large too Big Dems say not Big Enough

Stewardess informs Doctor of Anthropology she meant Doctor of Medicine

President promises $15 billion in aid if Greek Prime Minister will chew gum from under desk

Hospital regrets allowing honorary PhD to perform brain surgery 

Waking up on wrong side of bed proves deadly for man living on the edge

Asking up, telling still down as Military reverses don't ask don't tell policy

No one records historic 10th week of Historian strike, thousands contemplate land war in Russia

Experts contend lesser known Nudist Colony fared much worse than Plymouth Colony

One in three Americans have no idea studies are making generalizations about them

Rookie petting zoo keeper flops with his poisonous animals of the Amazon exhibit

Starving man reports girlfriend never looked so good

Researchers fear findings not as dangerous as previously feared

Keys to the city locked in city

Line dance poor choice for solo audition

Stake out at make out hang out brakes out in shoot out

Phone repair man not getting many calls

Secret Society of Librarians laughs at Free Masonry

Hospital regrets allowing honorary PhD to perform surgery

Waking up on wrong side of bed proves deadly for man living on the edge

Asking up, telling still down as Military reverses don't ask don't tell policy

No one records historic 10th week of Historian strike, thousands contemplate land war in Russia

Experts contend lesser known Nudist Colony fared much worse than Plymouth Colony

Starving man reports girlfriend never looked so good

Researchers fear findings not as dangerous as previously feared

Keys to the city locked in city

Line dance poor choice for solo audition

Stake out at make out hang out breaks out in shoot out

Phone repair man not getting many calls

Secret Society of Librarians laugh at Free Masonry

Notre Dame players douse winning coach with holy water

Self given nickname not catching on

Letter after b and before d missing from computer

Lost Lost and Found found

Secretary has been a bad girl; spanking warrented says CEO

Man wearing sandals recieves painful shoe shine

Bling seeing eye dog heroically finds something

Naughtyness down 10 points, Spaking up 4 on the day

Celebrity reminds Cashier of someone

Impulsive man buries time capsule for 5 minutes

Man with no idea who Robert Redford is just met Robert Redford

Canoe Captain vows to go down with Ship

Critics Deem Native American Cave Art "Childish."

Bill Calls For Secret List of Hiding Places for Government Documents

Frontier Scout Also Part Time Talent Scout

Short On Tear Gas, Officers Throw Onions, Sad Poems

Art Critic Claims Artist Misinterpreted Own Work

Nude Swimmer Evades Police, Lifeguards, Admirers

FDA to Investigate Lifetime Guarantee on Suicide Pills

Scientists Succeed in Writing Paper Not Even Experts Can Understand

CEO Doesn't Have Anything Casual To Wear

Man Who Can Tear Shirt off Chest In Need Of Shirt

Profits soar as Firm Ignores Costs

Pollack faces discrimination at repair shop while having bike tires aligned

Professor reports dog shit no excuse for a crappy paper

Supreme Court rules annoying plaintiff has the right to shut the fuck up

Squirrels fucking like rabbits, scientists baffled

Stripper emerges too late from birthday cake, cut in half

Atheist ad campaign promotes nothing

First Slicer movie features pizza cutter

Blind man struck in eye by carrot can't see the irony

Man with fly down laughs at woman with fly down