Why Girls Like Twilight

If your like me and love Vampires, well not love them, but love getting to learn about them so you can kill them better, then you probably have no idea why girls like Twilight. As girls, girls are the people most in need of the lessons that come from great Vampire movies such as Blade, Underworld, and the soon to be released Priest.

So why is it that girls are flocking to see a movie such as Twilight that offers little to no practical information about dealing with vampires (such as how to make silver nitrate bullets for your glock)? I've got an answer for you and it lies at the heart of Vampire Propaganda.

Twilight allows girls to escape, if just for a few hours, into a fantasy world where good looking, capable, strong, dark, interesting men are interested in lame, pale, weak, boring, high school girls for no apparent reason. Thats right, the Vampire assholes that wrote that movie are playing on girls dreams that it is possible for them to be swept off their big hairy feet, and carried away by a guy who could be dating a super model but instead has decided to date a looser.

Now I'm not saying that girl from the posters is unattractive, I'm saying the girls who go to see that movie are unattractive. If you were hot there would be no need to have an escape fantasy where some super strong, independent, quick witted guy temporarily looses his sanity and falls madly in love with you. Hot chicks spend their time working out so that when vampires really do come they can kill them better.

I'll just assume the only people reading at this point are people who like Twilight, everyone else already knows this stuff. So here is a message for you: accept that Twilight is an escape fantasy for people who don't want to put in the work it takes to date a cool guy. Throw out your sneakers, get some running shoes, go see Blade, get a silver tipped samurai sword, become interesting, and then you can date a real strong, capable man. Vampires are not bf material.