The Junk Hug: One Man's response to the boob hug

Most of my readers will fall into one of two categories: man and women. The rest of you will fall somewhere in between. For the men out there, it is highly likely that you have been the recipient of a boob hug. This wonderful creation occurs when a man and a women embrace. Unlike a normal hug between a man and women, in the boob hug, the woman presses her milk makers firmly, and lovingly, onto the man. It really is a wonderful experience.

Now the women are probably going, who, me? I never give boob hugs, my boobs might bump into a guy when I hug him, but there is no firm pressing going on. Wrong. You know exactly what you are doing. The boob hug goes so far beyond the normal hug as to become manipulative: when men receive them, we melt like butter between the ass cheeks of a fat chick.

So you can see that one sex, the female, has this distinct advantage over the other, the male. Its like a Jedi mind trick- you get a boob hug, then 10 minutes later you are picking up some chicks dry cleaning and you don't even know why.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, on a certain level I would eat off brand bacon for the rest of the year for a boob hug, it's that amazing. I just want to inform both sexes so that boob huggery is brought into the open. Men, know that women have another path to your heart: through the chest. And Women, know that your boob hugs are appreciated, keep them coming. In fact, consider giving out boob hugs for free, with no thought of reward. I think you could write it off on your taxes.

But here is the part I don't know anything about. Do girls give boob hugs to each other? I'm not even sure I can comprehend how that would work. I might as well ask why the sky is blue, or where bacon comes from. I can only speculate that giving a boob hug, while receiving a boob hug, is the highest level of achievement a woman can reach.

When I first started thinking about the boob hug, I did a little soul searching. I came to the conclusion that maybe I could attempt the male version of the boob hug. Last weekend I tried my very first junk hug, I could spend hours painting the picture with flowing and elegant imagery, but I think you can picture it in your mind.

The first attempt was a failure, I would not recommend the man on man junk hug. My second attempt was also a failure, I would not recommend the man on woman junk hug. For some reason millions of women can get away with the boob hug everyday, whereas I try and press my genitals onto one unsuspecting female and I'm a monster.

But I did have one bit of success with my foray into the male equivalent of the junk hug. To perform the junk hug you kind of have to lean back, whereas to perform the boob hug, you kind of have to lean in. I gave the junk hug to a girl attempting to give the boob hug and the resulting hug was so preposterous that I think it opened the womans eyes to what she was doing. Her eyes got wide, and I gave her a grin and a knowing nod. Minds were blown.

If I can change just one life with my junk hug, I know I've made a difference.