Song Changers- How to prevent the doomsday scenario

I've been receiving hundreds of emails asking for a blog about music, as well as requesting I stop lying about how many emails I receive. So here it is, a blog about music.

You know that feeling you get when you hear the perfect song at the perfect moment? Sometimes it happens on the radio, sometimes on your I-pod, but usually it happens when you are a total ass hat at a party and change someone's song they just picked so you can put on what you want to hear. Grrrrrr. I hate you.

Yes, I am talking about song changers. We all, in one form or another, have a desire to be song changers. Its natural to want to hear Fleetwood Mac at every party you go to. But for most of us it stops there. I don't come over to your house and turn off the play list you selected; normal people are respectful and reserve Bread (the band) for alone time. But not some of us.

Some people have the short sighted audacity to think that it is OK to watch another person pick a song, and then walk over and change that song before it is finished. This is an insult to the person who picked the song. By doing this, a person is effectively saying, I am more important than you and I can't be bothered to wait 4 minutes and 50 seconds for “I tried”by Bone Thugs N' Harmony to finish before I put on “I know You Want Me” by Pitbull.

So obviously these obnoxious song changers are dumb. But not only are they dumb, they are also stupid. These people, if we can call them that, don't realize that if they have the right to change my song, I have the right to change their song. See where this leads? A song for a song makes the whole party suck. You change my song, I change yours, so on, so forth, and all we ever get to rock out to are the first 10 seconds of songs.

So what do we do? Normal people would do well to have 2 rules at their parties to prevent the doomsday scenario. Number 1: Do not change a song someone else has picked unless they say you can. 2. Whoever owns the source of the music is always right. Rule 2 is to allow whoever is having the party/event/driving to decide when enough is enough- some people, the author included, just shouldn't be allowed to set the mood.

So those are some rules for normal people. But here is what to do with song changers, people who are too dim witted to understand these simple rules of etiquette. When they change your song, change it back, then pepper spray them in the face. Nothing like a little Pavlovian classical conditioning to remind them that changing other people's songs is bad for your health.

*Thanks to Brian Viel, Free Bird By Lynard Skynard, and Lauren Swastika for teaching me about song changeing.